Men, Feminism, and What it Means to be on Top

Emma Watson’s recent UN speech garnered a lot of media attention, and for good reason. The young actress made a passionate (and long overdue) plea for men to finally join the feminist movement. However, there is one quote by Watson that struck me as particularly relevant to today’s society, one that all too conveniently seemed to be missed among the media frenzy: “Men don’t have the benefits of equality either.”

In her speech, Watson invites men to recognize that gender inequity is their problem too. She makes evident the way they too are constrained, “made fragile” by the way society prescribes how masculinity is to be performed.

This pressure to conform to the dominant definition of “male success” continues to be prevalent in the business world. In fact, I recently read an article by the CEO of software company MongoDB, Max Schireson, who resigned from his position in order to spend more time with his family. Max’s story was all too familiar; especially when it came to reading about the way he missed out on family fun to travel over 300 000 miles a year for work. I can see the look in my husband’s eyes before he leaves on a business trip.

And while he doesn’t travel nearly as much as Schireson, the sadness of knowing he will be away from the kids, even just for a few days, is a pain that never goes unnoticed – especially by me. Not one month after Schireson’s resignation, another powerful businessman was in the news for choosing his family over his career.

Mohamed El-Erian, the CEO of Pimco (an investment fund valued at a staggering 2 trillion dollars) stepped down from his $100 million a year position after his 10-year-old daughter handed him a list of all the milestones he had missed so far. As a mother of a 7, 3 and 1-year-old myself, this story is just one heartbreaking example of the toll that prioritizing career advancement can have on one’s family.

The difficult choices these men made to step down offer some valuable insight into the extreme pressures faced by c-level executives, and how difficult this balancing act can really be. At Prizm, we understand the pressure facing a lot of these executives.

We spend every day working with marketing professionals, medical equipment companies, and pharmacies – all of which involve incredibly demanding and stressful work environments. We see the people we work with face these pressures every day, and we are right there with them

It’s not easy. Not everyone recognizes the depth of commitment involved in running a company, and the personal sacrifice that men and women alike make every day to see that businesses prosper. As co-founders and equal partners in our company, my husband and I struggle with this constantly.

What I find interesting is that I am often the recipient of praise from colleagues, families, and friends who wonder how I do it all: how I balance work and family, how much I’ve had to sacrifice, and so on. What they don’t ask, and what Schireson was so absolutely right about in his article, is how my husband does all the same things, without anyone batting an eye.

He works the same long hours, he shuttles the kids to activities, he shares in the housework, and he works hard to maintain a strong family bond – all while trying to uphold what it means to be a “successful male” in today’s society.

Some people may say that it was easy for these men to step down after making millions on top of millions, and those people would be right. However, it is important to consider all of the men who face these pressures without the huge check books to back them up.

It’s clear that Watson was right in her suggestion that men are being imprisoned by gender stereotypes, that the pressure of those labels is real and dangerous, and that changing our understanding of acceptable masculinity will have a huge impact for men and women alike.

Yes, there is still a long way to go before things are truly “equal” for men and women in today’s world – especially in business. However, in our fight for equality we must not forget that men deserve to be with their families, deserve to be sensitive and caring, and ultimately deserve to be free of constructed ideals.

Kudos to Schireson and El-Erian on making the right choice when it comes to the difficult job of balancing family and career, and here’s to a future where these tough decisions don’t need to exist. For others in situations like this, I hope that their families show them how much their sacrifice is valued and appreciated. While I try my best to always show my husband how appreciated he is, the next time I receive accolades from our peers for being a “supermom,”

I’ll be sure to speak up and let them know that my husband deserves just as much credit. Follow Prizm on twitter Karina Hayat is one of Canada’s top 100 female entrepreneurs as listed by w100 and has been in the lead generation business since 2001. She is the President and Co-founder of Prizm Media; a PROFIT 500 Listed and compliance focused lead generation company that caters to some of the fastest growing DMEs and pharmacies in US and Canada.